Hello again everyone, it's been a little while since I wrote from the heart so thought it was about time I opened up again. I've had a funny few weeks, I feel like I have gone backwards in so many ways. I'm sleeping badly, I'm exhausted, suffering from familiar stomach complaints and I am finding myself doubting my abilities more and more. I am so overwhelmed by how much I have to improve upon and learn that I've been plunged into into procrastination.
My mood has been increasingly angry and annoyed which is very unlike me. I usually lean much more towards anxiety and depression rather than anger. I'm not quite sure which is worse but it's safe to say none of them are particularly enjoyable. I have been trying to analyse what has been going on and it's lead me to social media. As you may or may not know, I started my YouTube channel recently and low and behold, I am not an overnight sensation!! Shocking I know 😉
I have a lot of goals and things I want to achieve, I believe that when I've done X, Y and Z, then I will be successful but my problem is that I keep looking at the bigger picture. I don't give myself the credit that I am due. It was only 4 1/2 years ago that I left behind working in a office to pursue my passion of working in fitness. How many people can say they have taken a leap of faith and made it work long term? I must count my successes not my failures. As Richard Branson said, we don't see the many business ventures that he has failed at, we only see his successes.
I'm on a journey and whilst I haven't yet reached my destination, I should enjoy each step along the way. Back to social media, whilst it is meant to be a place for positivity and inspiration, it is very hard not to compare ourselves to others. We see people with over 100k followers and start to think that either it is because they are prettier than we are or they have a better body than we do (obviously speaking for myself here but I'm guessing I'm not the only one). That aside, it is very easy to get caught up in these comparisons that have absolutely nothing to do with our abilities or things that really matter. This can then lead to frustration and anger and a general feeling of being fed up (again referencing myself here).
Social media isn't going anywhere and if it is a platform we want to continue to use then we need to find ways to stop it having such a negative impact upon us. For me I decided I needed to focus on my small successes rather than how far I still have to go. I thought I would share a few with you here:
- becoming a Personal Trainer;
- continuing my education and always trying to grow as a fitness professional;
- setting up and sustaining my own business;
- starting a blog and opening up to the world;
- being consistent with my social media and not being afraid to show the real me;
- learning to talk to a video camera and actually being fearless enough to post on YouTube;
- setting up a fitness retreat that until 6 months ago was just a pipe dream.
I could go on but now I feel like I'm bragging ;-). The point I wanted to get across is that if you are feeling shitty about not being the success you want to be, no matter what area you apply it to, you have probably done a lot more than you thought. Why not sit down right now and think about all the things you've done, no matter how small, that others might not have the dedication or bottle to do themselves.
If this resonates with you in any way, please get in touch and share your story. We forget that we are not the only ones thinking and feeling in a certain way. We're not all that different from one another, we share the same dark thoughts and anxieties, it is only by letting them take hold that they can hurt us so let it out and free yourself.